i love flowers, almost all the dresses i own are coated

with lovely flowers. i guess they make me happy.

when i want to listen to something that is joyful but

quiet, i tend to find myself always coming back to

the same song.

"and you give" by matthew barber

i find it puts me in the best mood, always.

earlier today, i was thinking about vegans and vegetarians

ive decided that i myself, could never be either.

but i do have a secret respect for those individuals

who do claim the vegetarian diet.

i guess killing innocent animals is wrong,

but isnt that how life works?

with death i mean.

i also came to the conclusion that im honestly terrified of death.

i suppose the many run-ins with death that

ive experienced has really affected how i see it.

sometimes, when i think about the other people at school

that have lost a parent and still come to school must

be very strong individuals. i cant see myself just

accepting it that easily..

am i wrong for thinking any of this?

who knows

all i know is that death is the very worst outcome,

atleast in my opinion.

i spoke to adam about my fear once or twice,

he didnt seem to be scared and timid

like i am.

but adam is in no way timid or small in

everyday situations. i guess you could say adam

is my crutch to the scary things in life.

oh yeah, im scared of lots of things unfortunatley.

the dark, heights kinda, sharks, needles, dark alleys, the oven..

but ive decided that i want to conquer some of these

fears in my life. for example, for my birthday this

year im planning on either skydiving

or bungee jumping :)

atleast thats a step in the right direction.

i have a day job for my mom's work tomorrow,

not excited.

but after were going to my uncles birthday or something

which im excited about because that means

there will definetly be delicious food waiting

to be eaten, and i plan on doing some

damage >:)

and after, im going to a friends house for a party

hes throwing. i also plan on looking super cute

which is always good.

i guess that means ill follow the trend of

putting up photos of my outfits like many others have done.

hopefully ill have enough time.

love, e